Welcome To Earth.
This was a sketch that never saw the light of day.
(Scene opens in an interrogation room. A detective sits opposite a man accused of human trafficking.)
Detective- You do realize you’re being charged with a federal offense, don’t you?
Jimmy- No, see that’s where you’re wrong. The man I work for said this is perfectly legit. These aliens aren’t illegal.
Detective- OK, well, maybe you can tell me where they are from.
Jimmy- Zeta Reticuli, mostly. I get a few from Alpha Centauri around the holidays, but it’s usually Reticulans.
Detective- I’m sorry?
Jimmy- From space. They aren’t Earth aliens; they’re space aliens. There’s no law against bringing space aliens across the border. Haven’t you taken a look at them?
Detective- Yes, we have. They speak Spanish.
Jimmy- Well, yeah. All they can pick up in space in Telemundo.
Detective- And they’re covered in green makeup.
Jimmy- That must be some multi-dimensional thing.
Detective- Yeah, fine. Why don’t you give us the name of the guy you work for and we’ll see about getting you a reduced sentence.
Jimmy- That’s not going to be easy.
Detective- Why is that?
Jimmy- Forty-eight syllables. Very difficult to pronounce.
Detective- Listen, pal…
(Suddenly there’s an explosion. The detective falls to the ground, unconscious. A tall man dressed in white with a green face walks through the rubble left by the explosion.)
Man In White- Jimmy, let’s get out of here. We’ve got a busload Reticulans waiting.
Jimmy- Sorry, Mr. Haasat-Machnaa-Kunookto…
Man In White- Knock it off, Jimmy, and get in the van.
